OBACHAN'S SCRIBBLES

You know what happened today? This afternoon, when I was riding my bicycle in a hurry to a nearby supermarket, a girl on a bicycle rushed out from a junior high school and we had a crash. The break of my bike hit one of the incisions from the surgery real hard as I fell. Which one? The left one. Yeah, the one that took weeks to heal.

The wound did not open, but I might have a bruise. And after that accident, I couldn't find what I was looking for at the supermarket. Back in my kitchen, I, again, burned the pot which I had burnt yesterday and cleaned with baking soda last night.
Not my lucky day, ha!

...OK. Let's see the bright side of it. The accident could have sent me back to the hospital. But it didn't, and now I'm enjoying beer in my apartment.
So maybe I was lucky.

One of my colleagues @ my daytime job is quitting soon. I didn’t know that
until today, and now I’m drinking in my room because I’m feeling terrible.
I liked her a lot.
I would never be able to work with a person like her again.

2nd week at work (17 days after surgery and later)

This week, my feet were firmly on the ground, but I felt more tired when at work than the first week. Also I felt a bit strange in my abdomen. No, I didn’t feel pain in the wounds, but it was more like deep muscles there were sore …like your muscles suffer after having too much exercise, more on the second day than the first day. You know what I mean?

That weekend, I tried my first beer in my room. Very important experiment, right? Absolutely no problem. ;)

The incisions were healing alright except the one on the left. :( That one had a little problem from the beginning, but to make things worse, I scratched it in the previous week when half asleep, and the small scab-like thing on top came off. Since then, every day I cleaned the wound thoroughly with disinfectant (containing Benzethonium chloride) and kept it dry as much as possible. You know, the traditional method.

I know. Some of you probably want to say something here, but hold it until you get to the end, please. ;) I took care of the left incision that way so very carefully, but Gosh, no improvement at all! And because of the Band-Aid I always put on it, I developed a rash all around the wound. AHHHH!! Not a serious problem, but annoying enough.

But it didn’t keep me from going out with my colleague that weekend to enjoy Korean dinner AND BEER! :D

June 4, 2007

More than 20 days after surgery, when I thought I was back to normal except the left incision, a colleague sitting close to me at the daytime job cleaned her desk pad with thinner. It made me terribly sick. You know, headache, nausea and sensation around the molars again… I had to go home right away and rest for a couple of hours in bed before my nighttime job. It’s been 20 days and I’m still not completely recovered? Unbelievable! Man, this is definitely different from any “recovery” I’ve experienced before from diseases like flue or intestinal catarrh.

And it was just the night before my last hospital visit when I accidentally found out about “moist wound healing” on the net! OMG! What have I been doing for the past couple of weeks???

June 8, 2007 – Last hospital visit apx. 1 month after surgery –

My last transv. ultrasound in 2007, unless something unexpected happens (because doc said I don’t need to come back until next year to check on my fibroids). No problem was found.

I told doc about my left incision. He looked at it and said that the problem was not serious and the wound would heal alright, but it was taking a little too long. I was prescribed Prostandin 0.003% oint.
And that was the end of the treatment for my Pinoko, mature cystic teratoma. (My doc did say that I could come again if the problem with the incision did not improve, though.)

Back in my room, I threw away the disinfectant (there wasn’t much left anyway) and started making normal saline. Yep, I googled and found out the proportion: apx. 1 teaspoonful salt (4.5 g) for 500 mL water. I wanted to try the new (to me, at least) treatment that I read about on the net.

I rinsed the left incision with the saline and put a little amount of Prostandin into the open wound but not around it. Then I covered the wound with a small piece of plastic food wrap. (Considering the hygiene in my kitchen, I had wiped the food wrap piece with ethanol and dried it completely before placing it over the wound.) To absorb the exudates and pus leaking from the edge of the plastic wrap, I first applied a little bigger piece of gauze over and taped it. But taping was making the rash worse, so later I used a much bigger piece of gauze so that I could hold it with my underwear without taping. :P

Outrageous, you say? But actually this idea is similar to what some health care providers do in Japan for the treatment of certain stages (not all) of pressure ulcer. Oh, we do have film dressings here in Japan, too, but they are REALLY expensive! Besides, some say that plastic wrap is better for certain cases because it allows excess pus ooze out from the edge of the wrap. So this treatment seems to be gaining popularity now among professionals, especially caregivers of the elderly in Japan.

I don’t mean to advocate this therapy here on my blog, but just to tell you the result of my attempt: In five days, new tissue started growing and filling the wound. I’m writing this part on June 16th and now I see much less exudates, absolutely no pus, and the wound is almost closing up. The edge of the wound is looking healthier in pinkish color. Probably I won't need the plastic wrap next week. And thank goodness, the rash is almost gone. :)

Now I don’t wake up at 4:30 am any more. I can bleach as many dishcloths as I want without getting sick, and I feel happy when the smell of celery in chicken stock fills my kitchen. And yesterday I did some stretching exercise which I avoided while I had Pinoko. Soon I'll be doing sit-ups to tighten up my abs. ;)

……………….

Well, it has been about a month since I came back from the hospital, and almost everything seems to be back to normal, even the incision with a little problem. So I guess this is a good time to put a closure on this Pinoko series which carried on for several months.

Just because this 5 cm tomboy (I'm watching the pic now) came into my life, I got thrown into an extraordinary experience and learned loads of new things. And I guess the experience changed me in some ways, though I don’t know exactly how... My room is cleaner now, and I have bought a few things that I’d been interested but couldn’t make up my mind to buy. Perhaps now I’m eager to make my life more comfortable to myself. (Or it’s just my sense of money is numb after an extraordinary experience? Dangerous!) Anyways, it feels great not having to worry about ovarian torsion all the time!
-- I regained freedom. --
And I’m thinking about taking a Yoga lesson someday.

Good bye, Pinoko. I’m glad that you happened in my life, and are gone now.

P.S. For the record: The private insurance company paid me about a week ago, and it covered ALL the expenses. YAY!!

- End -

職場での2週目（術後17日目以降）

こ の週にはもう地に足が着いた感じになったけど、職場での最初の週より疲労感は大。それとお腹チョット変な感じ。いや傷の痛みはないんやけど、もっと深いと ころの筋肉が筋肉痛、みたいな。運動しすぎた後、1日目より2日目のほうが筋肉痛がひどくなったりする、ちょうどそんな感じ、ってわかります？

その週末には、術後最初のビールを部屋で試す。大事な実験ですね。全く問題ナシ。

傷 は、左のヤツ以外は問題ナシ。左のは、もともとチョット問題あったのに、前の週、寝ぼけたときに掻きむしって、かさぶたみたいなのを剥いでしまったんで す。それ以降、毎日、塩化ベンゼトニウムの消毒剤でていねいに消毒して、できるだけ乾かすようにしてました。ありがちでしょ。

たぶん何か言いたい人おられるでしょう。まあ終わりまで待ってください。この左の傷、こんなに丁寧に面倒みたというのに、全然良くならない。しかもバンドエイドをずっと貼ってたので、傷のまわりがカブレだらけ！！まあ大した問題じゃないけど、うっとぉしいったら…。

でもその週末は同僚と韓国料理のディナーでビールで乾杯！しましたよ。

6月4日
術 後20日以上たって、もう元に戻ったかな（左の傷以外は）と思った頃、昼間の仕事で近くに座ってる人が、デスクパッドをキレイにするのにシンナーで拭きま した。それでまた撃沈。例の、頭痛、吐き気、奥歯の浮く感じ…。すぐ帰らせてもらって、夜の仕事の前に1,2時間横になりました。もう20日も経つのにま だ元に戻ってないって？信ジラレナイ！こりゃホンマに、昔インフルエンザとか腸カタルやった時の「回復」とはだいぶ違うわ…。

そして、たまたまネットで「湿潤療法」のことを見つけたのは、最後の受診日の前の晩でした。

6月8日　術後役1ヵ月後、最後の受診日

思わぬことが起こらない限り、これが今年最後のエコー検査、のはず。（子宮筋腫の方の検診は来年になってからでいいとセンセが言ったので。）検査は問題ナシでした。

センセに、左の傷のことを言って、診てもらったら、そんなにひどくないしキレイになおるだろうけど、ちょっと時間はかかりすぎてる、ということで。プロスタンディン軟膏処方。
それが、成熟嚢胞性奇形腫ピノコの治療の最後の診療でした。（左の傷が良くならなかったらまた来てください、とセンセは言ってくれたけど。）

部 屋に帰って、消毒剤は捨てて（もうほぼ残ってなかったし）、生理食塩水を作りました。ググって作り方調べましたもん。500 mLの水に塩小さじ1 杯弱(4.5 g)。ネットで調べた、新しい治療の仕方を試したかったんです。新しい、ってまぁ私にとっては、ってことで。知ってる人は知ってますよね。

左 の傷を生食で洗って、傷口だけにもらった軟膏を塗って、食品用ラップを小さく切ったやつを貼り付け。（ウチの台所の衛生状態を考 えて、ラップの切れは、貼る前に一応消毒用アルコールで拭いて完全に乾かしました。）ラップの端から出てくる浸出液とか膿を吸わせるのに、一まわり大きい ガーゼ でその上から覆ってテープでとめる。でもテープでカブレがひどくなったので、もっと大きいガーゼに変えて、テープを使わず下着ではさんで抑えるようにしま し た。

とんでもないことすると思います？けどこれ、ある種の（全部ではない）ステージの褥瘡の治療に使われる方法に近いんですよ。もち ろ んフィルムドレッシングとかって売ってるのもあるけど、値段がやたら高い！しかも傷によっては、ラップの端から余計な膿が出て除かれる方がいい、 という場合もあるらしくて、ラップを使う方法は介護職の人などの間で広まってるみたいです。

このブログで特にこの方法を宣伝するつも りはないけど、試したことの結果を一応書いておくと、5日で新しい組織が出来て盛り上がってきて、傷ふさがってきました。このへんは6月16日に書いて るけど、その時点で、浸出液ずっと少なくなって、膿は完全にナシ、傷はほとんどふさがって、傷口の縁はピンク色になってます。たぶん来週はもうラップ要ら ないでしょう。傷の周りのカブレもほぼ治ってます。

今 はもう朝4時半に目覚めることもなく。フキンも何枚でも漂白できるし、チキンストックにセロリ入れて香りがキッチンに溢れるとシアワセ気分です。昨日は、 ピノコがいる間ずっと避けてたストレッチをやってみました。そのうち、ポッコリしてきたお腹を引き締めるため、腹筋始めますよ腹筋。；）

………..

さて、退院してもう約1ヶ月。体調はほとんど普通に戻り、あのてこずった左の傷すらもうほぼ治った、ということで、この数ヶ月に及んだピノコシリーズを終わるのにいい時期ですね。

今、 写真見てるけど、この5センチのやんちゃ娘が私の人生にあらわれたせいで、いやおうなく、日常と全く違う体験させられて、新しいことを山ほど学びまし た…。たぶんこの体験で、私もいくらか変わったかも。どう変わったかはイマイチわかりませんが。

今、私の部屋は前より片付いてて、前からいいなと思って たけど思い切って買えなかったモノをいくつか買ってしまいました。自分の生活をもっと快適にするのに積極的になったのかも。（それか、単に非日常な体験した後で金銭感覚がマヒしてるだけか。－危険！）　
とにかく、もう茎捻転の心配をずっとしてなくていいんだ、ってのはサイコーです！
自由を取り戻した、という感じ。
そのうちヨガのレッスンを始めようかなと思ってます。


さよならピノコ。私の人生に来てくれて、そして去って行ってくれてありがとう。


追記：1週間前くらいに保険が下りて、入院･手術費用すべてカバーされました。
(^^)b


Categories: Dermoid

May 15, 2007 -- 4th day after surgery --

I wish I could write, “Being totally relieved, I slept for eight straight hours.” But that was not what happened. Though I fell asleep rather easily around midnight, I woke up at 4:30 am and couldn’t go back to sleep.

First thing I did was walking one block to take garbage to the closest garbage collection point. No problem. For the rest of the morning, I didn’t feel tired or dizzy as I walked around in my room and the kitchen. The incisions were slightly itchy, and the pain I felt when urinating or coughing subsided quite a bit. So I thought I was ready for almost any house chores as far as they were not physically demanding. -- WRONG.

Dear readers, NEVER ever bleach a dishcloth -- or anything -- on the 4th day after a surgery under general anesthesia. The moment I smelt the bleach, I felt sick, and I had to rest in bed all afternoon. Bummer! I had this incredible craving for videos, manga and for some reason, broccoli, and wanted to go out so badly. But had to take it easy at home. :(

Oh, one more thing. On the previous night, I turned on my laptop for the first time. Boy, it was a darn good decision that I didn’t bring it to the hospital! Its noise was surprisingly annoying and watching the screen made me feel unbelievably exhausted. Gosh, I’m definitely not ready for work yet!!


May 16, 2007 – 5th day after surgery –

Felt no pain when coughed, so decided to remove the film dressing on my incisions. (My doc didn’t remove it and told me that I could do it myself at home about a week from the surgery.) Saw the wounds sealed with liquid dressing. Funny-- The shape of my navel looked different! It looked like a simple Chinese character with an extra stroke added at the bottom. LOL

Had a little problem with the incision on the left (1 cm), maybe because I always lay on my left side in the Hp and at home (to watch TV). It looked a little infected, and when removing the dressing, a tiny piece of skin came off with the adhesive. Cleaned the wound with disinfectant and taped a small piece of gauze on it. The other two incisions looked OK under the dried gel dressing (which was gradually peeling). Taped gauze on them, too, because they looked kinda "naked" without it.

Took a taxi to go to a rental video shop, library and supermarket. Enjoyed sharing experiences with the taxi driver who also had a surgery recently. Spent a couple of hours in the kitchen making a huge amount of broccoli potage. Had a slight fever (37.5 C / 99.5 F) afterwards, but totally happy to stay in bed enjoying video, manga and food around me for the rest of the day.


May 17, 2007 – 6th day after surgery –

Rode my bicycle to a nearby drug store. The leg movements didn’t affect the wounds, but seemed like I was unconsciously avoiding leaning forward. Had lunch with mom and went shopping together. (She was in town for a tea ceremony lesson.) Felt so tired afterwards.

After shower, cleaned the left incision with disinfectant and put a regular Band-aid on it.

I used to feel Pinoko when I lay on my back, but not any more. So she IS gone now… Really gone.


May 18, 2007 – a week after surgery –

First hospital visit after discharge. Rode bicycle for apx. 15 minutes to the hospital. My doc told me the pathological diagnosis of the removed cyst, which was “mature cystic teratoma” (not translated into Japanese). So it WAS the same thing as Pinoko in Black Jack (manga). So glad… If the official diagnosis was something different, I would have had to change the title of all these posts in this dermoid series. :P

Before going back to apartment, took a taxi to a big electronics store (Yamada denki) and bought a laundry machine. The spin dry of my laundry machine broke before my hospital stay. Remember? No dizziness, but felt a cold sweat once in a while when walking around in the store. Always felt as if my feet were not firmly on the ground – like walking on a cloud or something.

My period started in the evening. Exactly 28 days after the previous one! Perfect recovery, isn’t it? Usually my period isn’t painful, but this time I felt pain and needed to take a pain killer (leftover from what I was given at the hospital). Yes, this was my very first time taking a pain reliever for period cramp.

May 19, 2007

Laundry machine was delivered. YAY! Finished washing all the dirty underwear brought back from the hospital. What a great feeling!! :D


May 20, 2007

Made chicken stock. The smell of celery I put in the pot instantly made me sick (headache, nausea and strange sensation around my molars). Gee, still something is wrong with me… I usually love the smell of celery so much! :(

May 21, 2007 -- 10 days after surgery --

First day at my nighttime job. Still felt a cold sweat a couple of times and had the “feet-are-not-firmly-on-the-ground” feeling, but no big deal. Felt very tired when came back home.

May 25, 2007 – 2 weeks after surgery –

First day at my daytime job, followed by the night time job. Felt exhausted after work. Fell asleep at around 11:00 pm. Very unusual for me.


To be cont’d…


術後4日目（退院の翌日）

「ゆうべは心底くつろいで、8時間ぶっとおしで眠りました」とか書きたいとこやけど、現実はさにあらず。夜12時ぐらいにすぐ寝付いたけど、朝4時半ぐらいに目覚めてしまいました。

最 初にしたことは、1ブロックぐらい歩いてゴミ出し。大丈夫でした。その日午前中、部屋とか台所とか歩き回っても、疲れもしないしめまいもなし。傷はちょっ とカユく て、お手洗いに行ったときや咳をしたときの痛みもずいぶん減った。なので、力仕事でなければ、家事は何やってもたいてい大丈夫と思った…のが甘かった！

皆 さん、全身麻酔で手術してから4日目に、フキンの（ていうか他のものも）漂白をしてはいけません。漂白剤のニオイをかいだとたん、気分悪くなって、午後中 ベッドで寝ることになりました。もぉ！この日、ビデオとマンガと、なぜかブロッコリーが欲しくてたまらなくなって、外出したかったのに。ずっと家にこもる 羽目になりました。

あ、それと、前の晩、退院後初めてコンピュータをつけてみました。コレ病院に持っていかなかったのは大正解でしたよ。コンピューターの音がとんでもなくうるさく感じるし、画面を見てたら信じられないくらい疲れましたもん。こりゃまだ仕事に戻るのはムリやわ。


術後5日目

咳 をしても痛みがほぼなくなり、傷に貼ってある透明絆創膏をはがす。（病院でははがしてもらってなくて、センセは、術後7日くらいに自分ではがしていい、っ て言ってたので。）はがしてみたら、傷には液体絆創膏も塗ってあるのを発見。おへその形が変形してる。笑）なんか、簡単な漢字の一番下に一本線が追加され たみたい。爆）

左側の傷(1 cm)にはチョット問題あり。ＴＶを見るのにいつもこっち側を下にして寝てたからか。ちょっと膿んでるみたいで、絆創膏 にはりついてて、はがす時に皮膚もちょびっとはがれた様子。傷口を消毒してガーゼをあててテープでとめる。他の2つの傷は液体絆創膏の乾いたヤツ（やや剥 がれかけ）におおわれて、大丈夫そう。でも何もしないのも無防備に思えて、その上にもいちおうガーゼをテープでとめておく。

それから タクシーでレンタルビデオ屋と図書館とスーパーへ。タクシーの運ちゃんも最近手術を受けたとかで、お互いの経験談で大盛り上がり。その後台所で、ブロッコ リーのポタージュを数時間かけて大量生産。後で熱が37度5分。でも、ベッドでビデオとマンガと食べ物を堪能して幸せ。

術後6日目

自転車で近くのドラッグストアへ。足の動きは傷には響かないけど、乗ってる間無意識に前かがみにならないようにしてる様子。母がお茶の稽古で市内に来てたので、一緒にお昼を食べて買い物。帰宅後ものすごい疲労感。

シャワーの後、左の傷を消毒して、フツーのバンドエイドを貼っておく。

以前は仰向けに寝るとピノコがあるのを感じてたけど、今はそれがない。
ホントに無くなったんやなぁ…。

術後1週間目

退 院後最初の受診。自転車に15分ぐらい乗って病院へ。主治医のセンセより、摘出した嚢腫の病理検査(?)の結果は“mature cystic teratoma”(検査結果には英語のまま記載)とのこと。やっぱりブラックジャックのピノコと同じものに間違いなし。良かったぁ…もし診断が他のモノ やったら、このシリーズのタイトル全部変えなあかんもん。：Ｐ

アパートにもどる前に、ヤマダデンキで洗濯機を購入。入院前に洗濯機の脱水が壊れてたでしょ？めまいはなかったけど、何回か冷や汗が出たり、いつも足が地に着いてない感じ。雲の上かなんかを歩いてるような。

術後8日目

洗濯機が届く。やったぁ！！病院から持ち帰った下着を全部洗濯。あぁ最高の気分！！

術後9日目

チキンストックを作る。セロリを入れたとたん、そのにおいで撃沈（頭痛、吐き気、奥歯が浮いてくるような変な感じ）。やっぱりまだどっかオカシイ。いつもはこのセロリのにおい大好きやのに。

術後10日目

夜の仕事に復帰。何回か冷や汗かいて、地に足が着いてない感はあるけど、たいしたことはない。帰宅後はすごい疲労感。

術後2週間目

昼の仕事に復帰、続けて夜の仕事へ。帰ったらバテバテ。夜11時ごろに寝てしまう。
普段ならあり得ない。

続く...


Categories: Dermoid

May 14th, 2007 -- 3rd day after the surgery (The day I left the hospital) --

How I slept on the last night at the hospital? Same as other nights. I woke up every few hours for no specific reason. Gee, didn’t I come here to get plenty of sleep to make up for the hectic and sleepless days before my hospital admission? Unfortunately, that plan didn’t work out. But one thing was achieved:
Pinoko was completely gone.

The nurse who came to check vitals that morning was the elder nurse who took care of me after the surgery. I was happy that I had a chance to say special thanks to her.

For breakfast, I ate the bread, bananas and yogurt left from the previous night. No cold sweat over miso soup any more! ;b

Before I left the hospital, my doc explained how the operation went and gave instructions for my post-op recovery at home. He said that they saved apx. 1/3 of my right overly. According to him, what was left was so small and thin, thus it might have not made much difference. But still I was so happy that they didn’t remove the whole right ovary. Though I knew that hormone balance would be OK and pregnancy was possible with only one ovary, I felt, “The more the safer.” And he showed me a photo of the removed cyst and gave me one copy as I had requested. The cyst in the photo looked fresher(!) than mom had told me, and for some reason, it didn’t look gross to me-- maybe because it was something I had been carrying in my own body for years?

And the handout about the care at home said that it would take approximately 1 month to get back to the way I was before the surgery. It also said when I could start various activities, such as:
- Returning to work: apx. 1 month after surgery
- Driving a car: apx. 1 week after
- Riding motorbike/bicycle: apx. 1 week after
- Light house chores: apx. 3 days after
- Short trip: apx. 1 month after

Maybe the “apx. 1 month” for “returning to work” was the safest guideline for a physically demanding full time job? The doctor didn’t say I had to wait that long to go back to a few hours of desk work.

Around 10:30 am, my bill was brought to my room in the inpatient ward. I paid it at the casher downstairs, and asked them to issue an official document for the insurance (fee: 3500 yen). FYI, the total expense of my hospital stay and the surgery (incl. the additional expense for a private room and hospital pajamas) was 151,515 yen (US$ 1245.82). I’m supposed to get reimbursed after I submit the official document from the hospital to the private insurance company, which should take a few weeks.

I went back to the inpatient ward and gave the receipt to a nurse at the nurses’ station. She cut my wrist band off there and I was officially “discharged.” So, this is it… This is the end of my very first hospital stay. Gosh, it was so quick… Everything went so quick. When I told her that we were leaving, she asked me to wait. Soon she came back with the head nurse and the nurse who was in charge of me and they saw us off, which I thought was very nice. Honestly, I was soooooo happy to leave that place, but it was sad to say good-bye to those people. They told me to take it easy at home for a while and I said yes.

BTW, I was glad that I had brought a pair of comfortable jersey pants for that day. I tried on the jeans first but it felt too tight and the button was too close to the incision below the belly button.

Mom and I took a taxi from the hospital to my apartment. Oh, I can never forget the sense of relief I felt the moment I entered my room. It was amazing. When I sat on the tatami floor and saw the familiar things in my room -- the bed, the curtain, TV, bookshelf, closet, etc. – I felt as if they were actually giving me a big, gentle hug!

And as I wrote here on my foodblog, mom and I tried a kamameshi delivery. How wonderful it was to be able to “enjoy” eating instead of forcing myself to eat! Then I took a shower while mom was still there, just in case I might feel dizzy in the shower. Fortunately I didn’t have any problem.

Later in the afternoon… I know this probably sounds awful, but I felt truly relieved when mom finally left for home to leave me completely alone in my room. My honest feeling was, “Thank goodness! No need to respond to anyone any more!” Then for the first time, I realized how tensed I had been until then from the time I was hospitalized… no, maybe from the time I was told that my dermoid cyst was 5 cm in size. Honestly, I had never been happier to be alone, but felt guilty about feeling that way, and at the same time terribly sad, missing those people who took care of me – who actually shared the most intense part of my Pinoko-related experience! It was such a complicated feeling, and I couldn’t help crying for good five minutes sitting on the bed, not knowing how else to deal with such mixed emotions.


To be cont’d…


5月14日（術後3日目・退院日）

入 院最後の夜も、他の夜と同じでした。特に理由もないのに2,3時間ごとに目が覚める。もぉ、入院前の忙しい寝不足の日々の埋め合わせに、タップリ寝るため にここに来たんとちゃうの？残念ながら、そうはいきませんでした。でもここで達成されたことが一つ：ピノコは完全にいなくなりました。

その朝血圧計りに来てくれたのは、手術の後で面倒見てくれた看護師さんで、あの時のお礼を言うことができました。

退 院する前に主治医のセンセから、手術がどうだったかの説明と、退院後の生活についての指導。右卵巣の1/3くらいを残してくれたそうです。その残った分は 小さくてペラペラで、残さなくてもあんまり大きな違いはなかったかも、だそうでしたが、私は残してもらえてうれしかった。卵巣は1個あれば、ホルモンバラ ンスも大丈夫で妊娠も可能、とは知ってましたけど、なんか「多く残ってりゃそれだけ安心」って気がして。そして嚢腫の写真を見せてもらって、前にお願いし てたように複製1枚もらいました。写真の嚢腫は母が言ったのよりずっとピチピチ(!)してて、なぜかあまり気色悪く感じられなかったです。自分の身体の中 に何年も持ち続けてたものだからでしょうかね。

退院後の生活についてのプリントには、入院前の生活に戻る目安は1ヶ月です、って書いてました。他にも、いろんなことを始めていいのはいつごろか書いてあって：
－ お勤め：　手術後1ヶ月を目安に
－　車の運転：　〃　1週間を目安に
－ バイク、自転車：〃　1週間を目安に
－ 軽い家事：　〃　3日を目安に
－ 近場への旅行：　〃　1ヶ月を目安に
などなど。
たぶんこの、お勤めに戻るのに術後1ヶ月を目安、っていうのは、キツいフルタイムの仕事に戻る場合でもこのくらい、という安全策じゃないかと。数時間のデスクワークに戻るのには、これ程待たないといけないとはセンセおっしゃいませんでした。

10： 30 amごろ、事務の人が部屋に請求書を持ってきてくれました。１階で会計を済ませて、保険のための書類の発行を依頼（この発行に3,500円かかる）。ちな みに、入院費・手術代と個室に変えた分の差額と貸しパジャマの代金、全部含めて151,515円。病院から発行してもらう書類を保険会社に送ってから払い 戻しがあるはずだけど、まあ2,3週間かかるみたいです。

病棟に戻って、ナースステーションの看護師さんに領収書を渡すと、私のリストバ ンドをはさみで切ってくれて、これで正式に『退院』。これで私の人生最初の入院が終わりかぁ…。早かったなぁ何もかもが。その看護師さんにもう帰ると言っ たら、ちょっと待ってと言われて、病棟の師長さんと担当の看護師さんを呼んできてくれて皆で見送ってくれました。ありがたいことです。病院を出るのはすっ ごくうれしかったけど、スタッフの人と別れるのはさみしかった。皆、家ではゆっくりするようにと言ってくれ、はいと答えて病院を出ました。

ところで、この日のためにゆったりしたジャージの下を持ってきたのは正解でした。最初ジーンズを履いてみたけど、キツかったしボタンがちょうどおへその下の傷のところに来たんで。

母 と私は病院からタクシーで私のアパートに直行。もうこの、自分の部屋に足を踏み入れた時のこの安心感、忘れられませんねホントに。自分の部屋の畳に座っ て、見慣れたベッドとか、カーテンとかテレビとか本棚、押入れ...と見てたら、それらが私を優しくハグしてくれてるみたいな気がして。

そ れから、食べ物ブログの方に書いたように、母と二人で釜飯の宅配を頼んでみました。必死で努力して食べるんじゃなくて、食べるのを「楽しむ」って素晴らし いぞぉぉぉ！それから母がいるうちにシャワー（万一シャワー中に気分が悪くなった時の用心に）。幸い問題なかったです。

午 後遅くなっ て…。ヒドいこと言うようですが、母が家に帰って私一人になったとき、もう心底ホッとしました。正直なところ、「ああもうこれで誰にも返事しなくてい い！」って。そこで初めて気づいたんです。自分がそれまでどれほど気が張り詰めてたか。入院した時から…いや、たぶん、嚢腫が5センチだと言われたその時 からずっと。もぉホント正直、一人になれてこれっっっ程うれしかったことはなかった、けど、そんなふうに感じる自分に罪悪感あって、それに病院のスタッフ の人たちと離れたのはさびしくて――　なにせ私のピノコ体験の一番濃いぃ部分を共有してくれた人たちですもん。もう気分はメタメタ。他に気持ちの持って行 きようがなくって、ベッドに座って5分ぐらい泣いてしまいました。

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Categories: Dermoid

May 13th 2007 – 2nd day after the surgery –

Thanks to the pain killer, I felt less pain when urinated or coughed that morning. Other times, the incisions did not hurt, which was rather strange. Another strange thing was that my muscles were not weak like they were after I suffered from a high fever or something in the past. Honestly, already on the 12th, I felt that my arms were strong enough to do 10 push-ups if necessary. (Of course it wasn’t.) So I thought everything was going to be easier on the 13th … until the breakfast was brought to my bed. Yes, the biggest challenge of the day came from an unexpected direction; It was “eating.”

As I wrote here on my foodblog, I guess my taste buds were a bit messed up after the surgery. Salty food tasted terribly salty and sour dish was super-sour, and I felt less sweetness in everything. And eating stringy food with such messed-up taste was unbelievably unpleasant and almost exhausting. Believe me... It was my first time being in a cold sweat just from eating.

Of course I didn’t have to eat up the meal. But since there was no painful rehab as I had fantasized about before, there was no chance to demonstrate my heroism. LOL OK, then, I’ll try and see if I can eat up all the meals served to me here. There’s not much to do while I'm here anyway… Well, there were better reasons for that attempt, actually -- I was afraid of being hungry at night. Some oatmeal raisin cookies were still left in the can as emergency food, but I couldn’t stand the smell of the spices. And that morning, I didn’t think I could walk all the way to the shop in the hospital to buy food yet. So eating meals was the only way to get necessary nutrition, I thought.

When mom came that day, the first thing she said was, “I don’t know how I do this, but I got lost and went to the annex again…” Oh, mom… I gave up on the idea of asking her to go to the shop to buy food for me. Besides, I had no idea what I wanted to eat then. (BTW, mom visited me every day after the surgery because she had nothing else to do. She stayed in my apartment room for 3 nights instead of going home after my surgery on the 11th and coming back early on the 14th. The idea was saving her time and money (because her town was apx. 100 kilometers away from Kochi city and public transportation was not convenient) and saving my balcony garden from drying up, but poor mom didn’t know how to kill time in a big city.)

Early in the afternoon, my boss’s wife (nighttime job) visited me. Right after that, I took my first shower after the surgery. It sounded like a scary idea in the beginning, but when I saw my abdomen, I understood why they said it was OK to take a shower as early as on the 12th. The incisions looked much smaller than I had thought, not bleeding or anything, and they were completely covered by very thin, transparent film dressing. Yeah, I see. This way no water could get in. Wow… These days there are adhesives like these, ha? I didn’t know this then, but underneath the transparent adhesives, the incisions were sealed with liquid adhesive (hydrogel dressing?). Of course, I felt no pain while or after taking a shower.

And soon it was time to think about leaving the hospital! I decided to leave there as early as possible on the 14th. It wasn’t that I hated staying there, but there was nothing to do there! My vitals were all OK. They took my blood sample, and I was sure it would turn out OK, too. Then why do I need to keep occupying the private room? I’m not even getting rest here! YES. This was what I learned during my hospital stay: You can’t really feel relaxed or rested when you are in a bad condition. You need a certain level of healthiness to be able to feel fully rested, I guess. That day, I was already able to adjust the bed myself, so I tried many different angles, but nothing really helped my backache. :(

Later in the evening, I went ahead and walked to the shop in the hospital. As I wrote before, my muscles were not weak, but somehow I felt like my feet were not firmly on the ground. And I felt a cold sweat everytime I felt the task I was doing was “a little too much.” But I made it. ;) I managed to buy bananas, yogurt and plain bread for my midnight snack and breakfast for the next morning. Yeah, I got tired of struggling with the miso soup and cancelled the breakfast for the morning of the 14th.


To be cont'd...


術後2日目

痛 み止めの おかげで、その朝、お手洗いに行ったときと咳をした時の痛みはだいぶマシでした。それ以外のときは傷は全然痛まなくて、ヘンな感じ。他にもヘンな感じだっ たのは、以前に高熱が出た後とかには筋肉が弱ってたのに、今回はそうじゃないこと。前の日にはもう腕なんか、必要なら10回ぐらい腕立て伏せできそうな状 態でしたもん。（必要ないけど。）なので、てっきりこの13日には、何もかもかなり楽になるだろうと思ってました…朝ゴハンが来るまでは。そぉなんです、 最大の難関は思わぬ所から来ましたわ。キツかったのは、食べることやったんです。

食べ物のブログの 方に書いたけど、たぶん私の味覚は手術 の後ちょっとオカシくなってたみたいで。塩辛いものはものっすご塩辛く、酸っぱいものはすんごく酸っぱく感じて、でも甘味はあまり感じない状態。その味覚 で、スジの多い食べ物を食べるのって信じられないくらい不快で、体力的にもグッタリ来たんですよ。いやホンマに。初めてでしたね、食べるというだけのこと にあんなに冷や汗かいたのは。

モチロン食事は残しても良かったんですけど。でも辛いリハビリもなく、他に、私のけなげさをアピールするネ タが何もなかったもんで。爆）　それやったら、ここで出てくる食事を全部完食してみようじゃないか。どうせ他にたいしてすることもないし…ということで。 まあ、他に もっとマシな理由もあったんです。夜中にお腹がすくのが怖くて。非常食のオートミール･レーズン･クッキーはまだ残ってたけど、スパイスのにおいが耐えら れなくなってたし。その朝にはまだ、売店まで歩いて食べ物を買いに行けるとは思わなかったし。この食事以外に栄養をとる道はない、と思ってました。

そ の日母が来た時、最初の言葉は、「どーしてか知らんけど、また別館の方に行ってしもうた。」…はいはい….。母に売店に買い物に行ってもらうのはあきらめ ました。どっちみち、自分が何が食べたいのかもその時はわからなかったし。（ところで、母は私の手術以降、毎日来てましたけど、他にすることなかったんで す。なんせ家は高知市から100 km離れてて交通機関は不便。11日の手術のあと田舎に帰ってまた14日の朝早くこっちに来るのは時間とお金のムダやし、私のバルコニーの植物に水もやっ てもらいたいし、ということで、彼女は私のアパートに3泊。でも街で時間のつぶし方を知らない母でした。）

午後早くに、夜の職場の上司の 奥様が来てくださいました。その後、術後最初のシャワーに挑戦。はじめはチョット怖かったけど、お腹を見てみたら、なぜ12日にはもうシャワーを浴びてい いと言われたのかわかりました。傷は思ったより小さくて、出血もなく、薄い透明のドレッシングで完璧にカバーされてました。なるほどね～。これやったら水 は入らんね。すごぉ…今はこんな絆創膏があるんや。で、この時は知らなかったけど、その透明の絆創膏の下には液体絆創膏（ハイドロゲルドレッシング？）が 塗ってあったのでした。もちろん、シャワー浴びても痛みはナシ。

そしてなんと早くも、退院を考える時が！結局、14日できるだけ朝早くに 退院することにしました。病院がイヤというわけじゃないけど、することがないですもん。バイタル問題ないし。検査のため血液を採ったけど、その結果もおそ らくOKだろうし。ならなんのために残って個室を占領してる必要がある？身体の休息にすらなってないのに。そう。今回入院して学んだけど、体調が悪い時と いうのは、本当にリラックスしたとか安らいだとか感じられないもんですよ。ホントに安らいだと感じるには、ある程度の体調の良さがあってこそ、ですわ。そ の日、もう自分でベッドを調節できたので、いろんな角度を試してみたけど、やっぱり腰痛は楽になりませんでした。

夕方遅くなってから、思 い切って売店 まで歩いてみました。前に書いたように、筋肉は弱ってないのに、なんか地にシッカリ足がついてないようなフワフワした感じ。で、これは今の段階でチョット 大変かなぁと思うような事をするたび、冷や汗がドッと。でもなんとかイケましたよ。夜食と翌日の朝食のために、バナナとヨーグルトとパンを買いました。 そ う、14日の朝食はキャンセルしたんです。もう味噌汁と格闘するのにさすがに疲れたんで。

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Categories: Dermoid

May 12th, 2007 -- 1st day after the surgery --

I know this sounds stupid, but since my childhood, I had fantasized about me being an inpatient once in a while. …Visitors would be surprised to see me being unbelievably weak in bed and I’d be flooded with sympathy. The doctor and nurses would be impressed to see me going through a painful rehab bravely with absolutely no complaints but a smile on my face… But the reality was far from it. LOL

Early in the morning on the 12th, the day after the surgery, my drip was finished and the urine catheter was removed. (I guess the ECG patches had been removed before that, but I don’t remember exactly when.) Everything seemed OK. That morning I passed gas and told it to a nurse and my doc who came to check on me. My throat was perfectly fine -- it was not sore or anything and I had absolutely no problem speaking. Looks like the trainee did a good job inserting the tube. :D But the biggest surprise was: my incisions still did not hurt almost at all! The only time I felt pain was when I coughed, but that was it.

When another nurse came later, she raised the head of the bed and set a side table, and brought my cup, toothbrush and a container to spit into so that I could brush my teeth and gargle there. She said I could take a shower that day, but I didn’t feel confident – I thought I might feel dizzy, so later she brought me warm towels to wipe my body.

I forgot when Mom came that day, but when she was with me, she told me how it was after the operation on the previous day. Right after the surgery before I came back from the op-room, according to her, my doc came and explained her how the operation went and showed her my cyst. She said it looked like half-dried fig or something. (It must have shrunk a little by the time she saw it. )

BTW, originally I was going to stay in the private room on the day of the surgery only. But a nurse said there was no request for a private room on the 12th and no surgery was scheduled for that weekend, so I decided to stay in the same room until the 14th, unless someone wanted a private room.

Now, I was so absolutely completely hungry that morning. No food for more than 30 hours! Oh how anxiously I waited for lunch that day!! When it was finally served, (See the photo of the lunch here), I gobbled it up in no time.

A couple of hours after lunch, I walked to the bathroom, escorted by a nurse. (I needed to be escorted the first time only.) I had no problem, and I even had the bowel movement then. Gee, I know my digestive system has been so anxious to work, but isn’t it a bit too early??? … It must have been the leftover from before the surgery. :P

After lunch, instead of going back to sleep, I decided to try and find out what I can do and how much on the day after the surgery. (One reason was that my back pain was getting worse and I felt easier sitting than lying in the bed.) So when my boss (daytime job) came with a beautiful flower basket, I was sketching this. Looks like my eye-hand coordination wasn’t too terrible 24 hours after the operation, don’t you think? Anyway, the first thing the boss said was, “Oh, you’re looking better than when you’re working in the office.” Looking better?! Come on, what happened to the flood of sympathy?! :O Another visitor, my colleague (nighttime job), came around dinner time and updated me with what was going on in the office. To be honest, eating required quite an effort then and it was really hard to carry on a conversation at the same time during my dinner. I felt guilty that I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying.

Perhaps it was a little too much for me to take on the first day after the surgery. My fever went up a little that night, and for some reason, I started feeling a pulling pain in my abdomen when I urinated (more precisely, as the bladder emptied). Other than that, I still felt almost no pain at all, except the time when I coughed. But I decided to take a pain killer (Voltaren) with rebamipide, as I had been advised to do, hoping it would relieve my back pain that night. Again, it was my biggest mistake that I hadn't thought about getting a bed back support cushion for this hospital stay...

To be cont’d...


手術の翌日

ア ホな話ですが、私小さい頃から、時々自分の入院生活を妄想してました。…弱々しくベッドに横たわる私を見て、お見舞いの人は驚き、もぉ同情の嵐。ぐちひと つこぼさず、笑顔で果敢につらいリハビリを耐える私に、お医者も看護師さんも感心する…。いや～、現実はほど遠かったですぜ。爆）

12日 （手術の次の日）の朝早くに点滴は終わり、尿の管も外されました。たぶんその前に心電図も外されてたと思うけど、いつごろだったか忘れた。何もかも順調み たいでした。その朝にもうガスも出て、診に来てくれた看護師さんやセンセにそう言いました。喉は痛みも声枯れもなく、しゃべっても全然大丈夫。あの実習生 さん、うまいことやってくれたんやなぁ（良かった…！）でも何よりオドロキなのは、傷が全然痛くない。咳をした時だけはひびくけど、それくらいのもんで。

後 で別の看護師さんが来て、ベッドを起こしサイドテーブルを持ってきて、私のコップと歯ブラシと、口をゆすいだ後に吐き出す入れ物とをそこに用意してくれま した。そこで歯を磨いてうがい。その日にシャワーも浴びていいと言われたけど、なんか頭ふらっとしそうで自信なくて、と言ったら、後で身体を拭く蒸しタオ ルを持ってきてくれました。

母が来たとき、前日の手術の後の様子を聞きました。手術のすぐ後、まだ私が戻ってこないうちに、主治医のセン セが来て手術の結果を教えてくれて、嚢腫を見せてくれたらしい。なんか、ちょっと乾いたイチジクか何かみたいやった、だそうで。（摘出してから母が見るま でに、いくらかしぼんだらしい。）

ところで、もともと私は手術の日だけ個室にいるつもりだったけど、看護師さんが、12日は他に個室のリクエストはなくて、手術の予定もないというので、他に個室をリクエストする人が出てこない限りそのまま１4日までいすわることにしました。

で、私はとにかくこの朝、壮絶にお腹すいてました。30時間以上の絶食の後ですもん。もぉお昼がどんだけ待ち遠しかったか！やっとお昼ゴハンが来たとき（写真はコチラ）、瞬時に平らげましたね。

1,2 時間たってから、初めてお手洗いに歩いて行きました。（最初の1回だけは看護師さんが付いて行くことになってるそうで。）問題ナシ。ついでにお通じまであ りました。えぇ？いくら私の消化器官が働く気マンマンやったからって、あんまり早すぎやない？？？たぶん手術前から残ってた分ですかネ…:P

昼食後はまた寝るかわりに、手術の翌日にどんだけの事ができるか試してみることにしました。（ひとつには、腰痛がひどくなってきて、寝てるより座ってるほうが楽だったんで。）なので、昼間の職場の上司がキレイな花かごを持って来てくれた時には、私こんなモン描 いてました。術後24時間の時点での目と手の働きはそんなに悪くない、でしょ？で、入ってくるなり上司曰く、「あら、事務所で仕事しゆう時より今のほうが 元気そうやんか。」今のほうが元気って？！ちょっと、同情の嵐は？！もう一人のお見舞いは夜の職場の同僚で、夕食の頃に来てくれて、職場のニュースを教え てくれました。正直、その時は食べること自体にすっごい努力が要って、同時に話をするのはしんどくて、彼女には悪いけどあまり話に集中できなかったです。

た ぶんこれは手術の翌日にしてはちょっと盛りだくさんすぎたらしく、その夜はちょっと熱が出ました。それとなぜか、トイレに行って膀胱が空になっていくと き、それにつれてキューっとひっぱるような痛みが出始めたんです。それ以外の時は咳をしない限り痛みはなかったけど、言われてたように、痛み止めのボルタ レンをムコスタ（胃粘膜保護の薬）と一緒に飲んどきました。それで寝る時の腰痛が楽にならないかなぁと思って。とにかく、今回の入院に、腰痛対策の腰枕か 何かを持ってこなかったのは最大の失敗でした。

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Categories: Dermoid