Thursday, February 24, 2005


2. You decided to try the omiai meeting because you didn’t want to displease the president of your company. Some days after you said YES to the president, you heard from your landlord (you’re living in an apartment) that some stranger came and asked him and your neighbors about what kind of person you were. You should:
a) Be extra nice to the landlord and all your neighbors from then on.
b) Be extra nice to above mentioned people AND other people that you see often.
c) Start tidying up your room, paying the rent on time and quit browsing stupid comic books at nearby convenience stores.
d) Get a plastic surgery
e) Move

Which would you choose?
Or what option(s) would you add to the a) - e) above.
posted by obachan, 2/24/2005 10:28:00 PM


Since you don't want to get married and don't need to make a good impression at the omiai, why change your behaviour at all? It's not as if you're deliberately trying to sabotage your chances with the guy you're going to be introduced to, so your boss has no reason to complain.

Oh, and I would never  quit browsing through the comic books. Why deny yourself something you enjoy? The things we take pleasure in are precious. =)

So I would add f)  Just keep acting as you usually do. If the prospective partner doesn't like you for you, then too bad for him. 

Posted by Darkling
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 2/24/2005 11:36 PM  
I agree with Darkling.......... 

Posted by lance
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 2/25/2005 6:07 AM  
Hi Obachan,
my name is Jan, i'm 45 and live in Belgium.I enjoy your blog, (i'm not online everyday)
i'm a musician and i toured in Japan a lot. Last tour i was wanfering around in Tokyo-on a free day, and found myself in Tsukishima. I ate ina very cheap (but very friendky) yakitori restaurant. They served me some kyabetsu and a dark red (or brown) sauce as a side-dish. It was delicious. Now in belgium in wintertime, i sometimes prepare white cabbage, cooked with a milky sauce and some ffried seitan, but the cabbage is so big an d i remember this Tsukishima restauran. Do you know the name of this sauce?
genki de, jan 

Posted by Jan
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 2/26/2005 5:04 AM  
> Darkling and lance --- Hmmmm, interesting. I don’t know if it is just me, or if it’s something common among Japanese… or if it’s the difference betw. men and women, but when I thought about how I would answer this question, the omiai wasn’t my biggest concern any longer. What mattered to me more was the fact that someone is doing some investigation on me and my personal life is going to be known by the president. This is one of the reasons why I never want to go for an omiai arranged by any of my superiors.

> Jan --- Welcome to my blog! I’m glad to hear that you enjoyed the food while in Japan. The sauce you mentioned could be what we call “tonkatsu (pork cutlet) sauce.” But it’s also possible that it was the restaurant’s original sauce.  

Posted by obachan
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 2/28/2005 1:01 AM  
I think it's a cultural difference, obachan. In Australia, my personal life would be my own business, and it wouldn't matter what my boss thought about the way I lived - unless I was taking drugs or holding up convenience stores, or something. But then again, my boss probably wouldn't be trying to arrange a marriage for me, either. It all comes down to the things that make Japanese culture unique.

What could your boss do if he found out that you spend your free time baking, reading manga and not tidying up, anyway? It's not as if he'd suddenly have a reason to fire you because of those things, is it?

To me, work life is entirely separate from home life. I guess it's slightly different in Japan. 

Posted by Darkling
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 2/28/2005 1:13 PM  
Well, it could be a cultural difference. To me work life isn’t totally separate from home life, but I certainly want to make my own decision about how much they should be related. I’m not worried about being fired or anything, but the idea of my superior(s) intruding on my privacy itself is so annoying to me. It is none of their business.  

Posted by obachan
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 3/01/2005 12:27 AM  
That's a dilemma, isn't it? You agreed to the omiai to stay on your boss's good side, but part of the background check for the omiai means that people will be asking questions about what sort of person you are. I understand your frustration - I'd feel the same way if people were 'checking up' on me. I hope the situation is over soon, obachan. 

Posted by Darkling
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 3/01/2005 8:57 AM  
Oh, again, I guess my English is so terrible and confusing. Regarding omiai, I always go with the option C) in the first omiai quiz, and this time, too, I did so.
I’m making up these omiai quizzes just to have fun seeing how differently people --- readers in many different countries --- would react to this really “Japanese” custom. No one is actually checking up on me and I'm not asking for advice for me, because nothing is actually going on. I made this quiz because I was curious about what people think about this kind of checking up going on. Terribly sorry about the confusion. I often forget to put it in subjunctive mood. I quit this stupid quiz thing here. 

Posted by obachan
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 3/01/2005 11:20 AM  
I like the quizzes, obachan. It helps to know that they're entirely hypothetical situations, of course, which was something you didn't make entirely clear. When you asked the questions, I know that I, for one, assumed that you were asking for advice.

I'd also go for c) , and politely refuse the omiai, in the same situation.

Hmm, so if you had  agreed to an omiai, do you think it's really likely that someone would show up asking about you?

Also, this is something I'm unclear on - is there only one go-between in the omiai process? That is, is there one person who goes back and forth, providing information to both people involved? Or does each person have their own representative, who'd do investigations and background checks if needed? 

Posted by Darkling
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 3/01/2005 2:36 PM  
I only heard that some people still do go for the background check, or ask around about the person's reputation, especially in rural areas. I can't say that it happens 100% at any kind of omiai, though. Regarding your question about the go-between, I certainly don't know, because I have never had a chance to see what go-betweens actually do.
Anyway, I'll never post this kind of stupid quiz again. 

Posted by obachan
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 3/01/2005 6:06 PM  
B, again, though I'd like to think that I'm always nice to everyone...Anyway, whether or not I'm interested in the omiai doesn't matter. I don't want the other party or my boss to think that I'm a cruel or insincere person and if my boss sets up future omiai for me, he/she'd have a good impression of me to hand on to the next party involved.
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 6/30/2007 9:28 AM  
And no, I'd keep browsing "stupid comic books."

I also agree with the F option. I would rather choose that than anything.
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 6/30/2007 9:32 AM  

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