OBACHAN'S SCRIBBLES

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I WANT TO TAKE A BREAK FROM WORRYING...

But it's difficult at the moment. Today is a gloomy rainy day that you can't do much of anything. Everyone in this house is "goofing off," postponing most of the chores to tomorrow. For me it's a good chance to bake something, but I've been sitting in front of my laptop all day (except for the time I went to the post office).

On a day like this, everything I've been working on -- including job hunting --seems to be at a halt, and I feel as if I'm trapped in an antlion's hole called "pessimism."

Last week I contacted three translation agencies (two paid jobs and one volunteer job) and heard from two of them. One said they would send me a trial test ASA I fax them a signed confidentiality agreement. I faxed it last Friday, and still waiting to hear from them. The other was the volunteer job: they hired me at once and said that they would send me the original text on Tuesday. Well, it's Tuesday today and I'm still waiting. I also emailed a local support group for SOHO workers to join their group... I haven't heard anything from them yet.

Yesterday I drove for an hour to the neighboring city to go to the employment agency there. There was only one part-time job that was convenient for me, both time-wise and location-wise. Money is not an issue this time, since I live at my parents' house now, but I want to secure enough time for studying translation at home, so I'm looking for a three- or four-days-a-week job, a few hours each. But what I found was not the kind of job my dad would approve of and I'm expecting a big fight. And what if the colleagues at the part time job would be mean to me? I never worried about that when I lived all by myself, but here the colleagues must be my distant relatives and probably know my parents. That makes me feel so... so insecure.

Gee, when can ever I live my life here?
*Sigh*

Oh, well. It's just this weather that's making me this pessimistic. I'll be feeling much better tomorrow. They are calling for sunny skies for the rest of this week, and I'm planning to dry goya (bitter gourd) and cherry tomatoes. And I'm baking something tomorrow afternoon. Then I'll be OK. I might even hear from the translation agencies. Yeah, maybe tomorrow is another day. :P
posted by obachan, 9/15/2009 04:34:00 PM

4 Comments:

Me too obachan, i want to take a break from worrying. I sometimes worry a lot even over trivial things, maybe it is inborn for me. As you said, tomorrow is a another day--maybe it will be better. Let's just try to live our life to the fullest each day. Obachan mo ganbate ne! :-)
commented by Blogger badudels, 9/15/2009 9:54 PM  
Obachan,

sumeba, miyako

But, it will take time.

You are dong fine. You are "scouting out" your new territory now. And you're alone in your scouting. But scouting is always a solitary activity. In time, that place, that whole region, will become your "miyako", but it cannot be rushed.

And every day, no matter what the weather, trials, or anything troubling, I hope you'll have a bit of joy, fun, a few smiles, and laughs.

Hang in there.
commented by Anonymous emma in Kansai, 9/17/2009 11:46 AM  
Badudels;
Arigatooooooooooo! :D
I guess the rain really made me feel down that day. I'm feeling much better now as the weather has been nice lately. Today I even thought about packing up a lunch and eating on the beach -- maybe with my mom -- but the ocean is already rough because of the typhoon.

Yeah, it's important to live each day to the fullest. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.

Emma;
Oh, I don't know how to thank you enough for your encouragement. Yeah, "scouting out"... That's what it is. And when it doesn't work out, I feel as if there's no luck left for me in the whole world and I'll never succeed in anything for the rest of my life. But that is not true -- that cannot be true-- of course. I know that. Maybe something great is waiting for me in the near future, which I just cannot see at the moment. Maybe I do have a good luck and have been protected by a guardian angel, because I haven't wrecked my mom's car yet.

Talking about a guardian angel, I think I do have one and some people do see her. (Is that she?) When I drove to the employment agency the other day, I had a late breakfast at a coffee shop. The waitress brought two glasses of water and was surprised when I told her that I was alone. And it was the third time in the last 10 months or so that something like that happened.
commented by Blogger obachan, 9/17/2009 12:51 PM  
Obachan,

Yes, there are "angels". When I moved to Kansai, a few such "angels" extended a kind hand to me when I was overwhelmed loneliness and sorrow.

One of them had herself had to move more than 10 times during her childhood due to her father's work transfers... she taught me the proverb: sumeba, miyako
But she said, it takes time.

Your angels are watching out for you now....
commented by Anonymous emma in Kansai, 9/17/2009 9:42 PM  

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