OBACHAN'S SCRIBBLES

I'm in the middle of major cleaning now, because I've got to throw away most of my large nonburnable garbage tomorrow morning, between 6 am and 8 am. Since this morning, I have been sorting out the garbage looking at the list on our city government's official website on my laptop. It's hard to concentrate on the task I truly hate. Really. Guess how many times I started reading my old books/notebooks or old letters and forgot about cleaning. Escape behavior. Yeah, I know.

It is actually a bit depressing to recall how I was when I first moved into this apartment. I was fresh, full of hope, and the apartment was really clean. It was like a miracle that I was able to find a bright, spacious apartment with decent storage space and south-facing balcony for such a low rent in the middle of Kochi city. It was almost like a dream apartment to me, except that it was old and not air-conditioned, the room light in the kitchen was broke (and the landlord refused to fix it) and the storage underneath the kitchen sink smelled terrible. (It still does.) What's more, most important offices and shopping areas are within bicycling distance!

Now, how much did I enjoy my life in the dream apartment? Did I make the best out of the living environment and the freedom I had while I lived there? I cannot say "Yes," unfortunately. I just let the room turn into a messy, dusty dungeon until I couldn't find any meaning in living there all by myself. That was it. And as I clean this place and the room becomes less messy and dusty, I hear an inner voice blaming me, "See? It's not that difficult. Why have you been THIS lazy? You could have lived much better life here if you really tried, but you gave it up so easily, didn't you?" What this inner voice says really gets on my nerve because it's true. Hey, I believe in the importance of self-reflection, but I hate to do it while I vacuum one-inch thick cotton dust.

But right now, there's someone else I want to blame much more. Some cardboard boxes for my upcoming move were supposed to be delivered to me yesterday. But the guy from the moving service called me and said that there was a mistake and they would be delivered today instead. Well, I've been waiting all day today and it's past 7 pm, and they are still not here yet! Gee. If I don't get the boxes and decent apologies from them tomorrow, I'm gonna cancel this moving service and choose another one.

AHHHHHHH !!! I'm getting sick of this boring, depressing and unpleasant task. Even with my favorite 80s hit songs. And in the kitchen, there are still some bottles of liquid seasonings to empty... This is endless!